07 August 2006

Adventures in speechinating

Once again ensconced in the comfy confines of his Crawford ranch, the vacationer-in-chief took time out between his 10:00 and 11:30 brush clearing sessions to respond to some of those uninformed amatures who've seen fit to spout off about the violence engulfing Iraq. (You might've heard of them: Gen. John "the sectarian violence is probably is as bad as I’ve seen it" Abizaid of U.S. Central Command, and Gen. Peter "we do have the possibility of that devolving to a civil war" Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs).

Before reading further, you might want to steel yourself for the stupid rays, lest you become lightheaded and fall to the floor.

So sayeth El Presidente:
“You know, I hear people say, Well, civil war this, civil war that. The Iraqi people decided against civil war when they went to the ballot box.”
Which is not unlike staring at a raging, five-alarm blaze, only to offer, "You know, I hear people say, well, inferno this, inferno that. The warehouse owner decided against infernos when he put in those smoke detectors."

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