02 July 2010

At the corner of Mendacity and Hysteria...

...lies Arizona Governor Jan Brewer.

After signing off on an immigration law that allows police to stop anyone brown enough that they "reasonably suspect" to be in the country illegally, she realized that she had to make the case to her constituents--as well as the country, at large--that the Arizona immigration problem outweighs the burden this will undoubtedly cause on U.S. citizens whose appearance is now just a bit too illegal-y. To that end, she devised a strategy:


And lie, shamelessly, at that.

Now that her "drug mule" scare-mongering has blown up in her face, she's decided on a new tactic:

Avoid criticizing feds who might take umbrage at looking incompetent, and make sure the fear factor is even more outlandishly pants-filling:
Arizona governor says immigration leads to beheadings

In an interview with Fox News, Brewer said, "We cannot afford all this illegal immigration and everything that comes with it, everything from the crime and to the drugs and the kidnappings and the extortion and the beheadings."

"Our law enforcement agencies have found bodies in the desert, either buried or just lying out there, that have been beheaded," she added.
You can't put more "peril" into the Brown Peril than conjuring up images of crazed (and, most likely, drug mule-ing) illegal immigrants rampaging through the countryside, lopping off people's heads, right?

Surely, the gruesome threat of imminent, violent, non-English speaking death will provide more than ample justification for even the most bleeding of hearts who might currently object to everyone darker than John Boehner having to carry proof of citizenship lest they find themselves detained by the police...

You can guess what happened next, can't you?
County coroners can't back Brewer beheadings claim

Officials with six county medical examiners offices in the state, including four from counties that border Mexico, say they have never heard of such attacks.

The Arizona Guardian contacted the coroners' offices in Yuma, Pima, Pinal, Maricopa, Santa Cruz and Cochise counties. All of them said they'd never investigated an immigration-related crime in which someone's head had been head cut off within their respective jurisdictions.
The way I see it, the reality-challenged governor has gone so far around the bend, so quickly, that she has left herself with very few options for her next step in this insanity arms race. Her choices:

Undocumented workers A.) are a known cause of cancer, or B.) are, in fact, zombies.

My money is on zombies. Don't disappoint me, Jan.

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