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11 January 2011

Outsmarting the conscientious assassins

How to look busy while doing nothing:
 
"Rep. Peter King, a Republican from New York, is planning to introduce legislation that would make it illegal to bring a gun within 1,000 feet of a government official, according to a person familiar with the congressman's intentions.
 
...It is already illegal in the U.S. to carry a gun within 1,000 feet of a school. King's legislation to make it illegal to knowingly carry a gun within 1,000 feet of the president, vice president, members of Congress or judges of the Federal Judiciary, would offer government officials the same protection."
 
Setting aside the unintentional humor in headlining this as "strict" legislation, from what sort of imaginary offender would this protect anyone?  It's some interesting pathology, indeed, that would find someone with murder on the mind hesitating at the prospect of a weapons charge, wouldn't you say?
 
"Y'know, I'm prepared to face the gas chamber, but those fines are *really* steep."
 
What's next, Pete, a bill forbidding unicorn grazing on public lands?
 
The only people this will affect--hilariously, if you ask me--are the gun-toting Teabaggers who would no longer be able to show up at town halls and constituent meetings while packing heat.  The larger rallys would be even more fascinating.  When the Michelle Bachmanns of the world showed up somewhere to address their embittered, ill-informed minions, would organizers clearly mark the 1,000 foot line so as not to cramp anyone's Second Amendment style? Maybe a nice velvet rope dividing the "strapped" section from "non-strapped" section?

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